you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
