He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
