I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have tasted many bathrooms
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
