We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
