Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
