No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
