you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
