I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
