it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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