Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
