Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
