Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
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I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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