Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
COCAINE IS GR8
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
