Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Boobs speak an international language.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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