I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
