so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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