Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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