I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
