I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize