Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
