Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
