Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
