He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize