i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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