Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize