dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We left the knife in your bed.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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