I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Jerry, you need to find god
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
