If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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