some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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