do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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