Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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