We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
...so i touched it.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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