he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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