he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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