Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
