i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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