She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
