I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
