he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
