Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
