When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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