It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
