and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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