I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
