I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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