I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
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Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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