sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
