Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
