Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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