Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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