I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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