I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
