you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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