I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
