mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You need a sexual gate keeper
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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