First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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