He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.