this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...